Finding Home

Home – the place one lives permanently as a member of a family.

The past few months I’ve been extremely homesick. There- I said it. I am not one to focus on the negative things going on in life, but this homesickness has been so intense, it felt like a battle everyday.

At first I didn’t share too much of this, as people asked “How are you?” (Or in British words “You Alright?”) and I would respond with “Yes, I’m great, how are you?” -because honestly, I am great. I have so much to be thankful for, and live a very blessed life… but even our lives full of blessings come with struggle and pain. Without struggle and pain- we don’t have the chance to experience breakthrough.

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July 18th 2016 – The day we officially moved into our new home

When we first moved into this little flat over a year ago, we bought two mugs (one for me, and one for Shanen)… and every morning for the last year I’ve had my coffee from this mug. I knew when I bought it, that my home was here with my husband. I was in my newlywed state of bliss when I got this mug, and we started to make this little flat our home… but as this last season has been rough in feeling a deep homesickness, this little mug would encourage me with the truth I saw in it that day I bought it.

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This homesickness went on for months. I love social media for it’s ability to keep me up to date on what’s going on in my friend’s and families lives. But there is a side to it that is very hard for me, and was almost feeding my homesickness. On warm sunny days, people posting pictures of my beloved Folly Beach, or Forth of July BBQ’s with friends… even when they would complain about the heat (as I always did when I lived in South Carolina) – I would still want to be there, because this is the first year of my entire life that I have not been in weather over 90 degrees- I was really craving that sunshine on my skin. But most of all, I was really missing my family. Some days I was looking up weekend flights to America just to hug my mamas, see my brothers, and fly back to England.

I started noticing things in my life that was triggering this homesickness, and as I finished my summer this year I purposefully stopped doing these things, or watching those American tv shows- but at the same time I also let the American within me rise up, and fully realized how much it is part of who I am; I am going to embrace it; I am going to love this part of me, and be proud to be an American. I may not agree with a lot of my countries decisions, but my roots are from that beautiful land, and it will always be a home to me.

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One of my happy places – Folly Beach, SC

The last month as the seasons turned to fall, I’ve become much happier. I LOVE England in the Fall! It is so beautiful, and the weather is what I always dreamed of autumn weather to be as a child in those hot South Carolina summers. But I learned in this last season not to let my external circumstances (like missing a proper summer with beaches and sunshine, or the beautiful colors of Autumn) effect my internal emotions and feelings. It is true, they do play a big part- but instead of dwelling in it, I had to be the one to rise up and learn from it.

One night recently I took Kutta outside for his late evening potty, and looked up to see the stars were out (this is quite rare here). I was so happy to see them I ran back up the stairs and into our flat to quickly grab my yoga mat, and took it out in the back garden to lay beneath them. In that moment I just let myself cry- feeling the tears running off either side of my face as I looked up a familiar sky. Having many nights in my life laying beneath these same beautiful stars; every constellation still there- still shining down on us, bringing beauty to the night.
God met me in that moment, with His beautiful peace and comfort as He spoke into my heart. For me, home is bigger than where I grew up. Home is more than America; and more than England.

Home is Earth.

This big beautiful world is home- and wherever I go I will experience homesickness. If I go to America, I will surly miss life in England (I usually get homesick for our flat in England after 2 weeks in America).. And there have been several times in my life I’ve been homesick for India (those who know me, know my love for this country, and even though I’ve only been there for a total of 8 months- It has become another home to my heart).

I can’t help but to wonder how many more homes I will have in the days to come.

I’ve learned it’s okay to be homesick… and most importantly, God will meet us where-ever we are, and what ever season we are in. This week, He surprised me with something beautiful, that truly “Blessed my heart” as we say in the south…

A saw with my own eyes- a Palmetto tree in England.

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My first reaction, was to hug it. Of course it was growing in a greenhouse, but when I turned around and saw it there, my heart was filled with so much joy- and hugging that tree felt like reaching out and touching a part of South Carolina.
*For those who don’t know, Palmetto trees grow everywhere in Charleston, and they are South Carolina’s state tree. It’s even on our flag…

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So all this to say, I am truly happy to be right where I am. Here in England- for where there is rain, there are always rainbows. I don’t believe the ‘grass is greener on the other side’ (as the saying goes) because I know life here is amazing in so many  ways, and it fits me and Shanen very well. I know one day, our American season will come- along with many other seasons, but I don’t want to rush the season I am in…

I want to enjoy it- and grow my roots here even deeper.

I have the whole world to explore and my whole life ahead of me. I am truly thankful for this season that has taught me how to find the truth in homesickness, and to be okay with experiencing it.

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where there is rain, look for rainbows

 

This morning I woke up to sunshine, and out my kitchen window was a beautiful rainbow. The sign of God’s promise. I remember in 2014 when God first told me I would move to the UK, and at that time, there was no possible way…
Yet here I am. Looking out my kitchen window, remembering how excited my heart was at the possibility of one day living in England.

I am home.

Our Adventure in France

Last Sunday, Shanen, Sophie (my sis in law) and I flew to France to help their dad with renovations on his house there.
This was our first time leaving KuttaBear since he arrived in the UK. But thankfully he had a wonderful, stay in caretaker come look after him!

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Just look at those sad eyes he was giving us as we left…

We flew out of Manchester and into Limoges airport, where their dad picked us up and we headed to his house about 40 minutes away.

It was surprisingly sunny when we left England, making me very excited for going to France and enjoying some warmer weather- but unfortunately most of our week there was quite gloomy!

Also, as we were rushing to our gate at the Manchester airport, I realized I FORGOT MY VISA!! (Something I need to get back into England!)
Luckily, my amazing mother in law was able to go to our flat, find it, and overnight it to me while I was in France!

Our first day there we started with renovations, like removing the ceiling in the front room where Shanen and I were staying. This exposed the wood beams underneath to give the roof that beautiful farmhouse look again. Shanen and his dad did the removing, as me and Sophie broke up the roof into small pieces to feed them to the fire in the kitchen. We ‘set the roof on fire’… literally.

While they were removing the roof, Shanen discovered an old key! Me and Sophie when upstairs and found a hole in the floorboard where someone must have hidden the key. I still wonder what door this unlocks… hidden treasure???

After the roof was removed I went in with a broom to sweep away all the dirt and cobwebs that had formed over the years, and Sophie and Shanen finished up with cleaning the floors and moping up all the dust.
That night I made a nice big vegan curry for us all to enjoy after the hard work!

Oh! And check out this little gem that was discovered as we cleared out that room… An original Disney Land Captain EO visor! (For all the Disney Nerds like myself out there, you know how exiting that moment was for me!)

The rest of the days we all took our parts in things like cleaning, sanding/painting shutters, cooking, taking family trips to the shops, and making this old house into a home bit by bit. Another one of my favorite parts of the week was starting each day off with a big family breakfast together.

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My Favorite Kind of Breakfast

Another one of my favorite things of the week was being able to take a break relaxing in the hammock, enjoying the fresh air and listening to the birds.

Right down the road from their house was a little field with some very friendly sheep! I so enjoyed running up to the gate and having them all run to meet me. One day we all went down there with some break and carrots to feed them… we brought celery too, but they didn’t prefer it.


One afternoon Shanen and I went for a little walk and found a path through a corn field. This path then lead to a beautiful wheat field, where we decided to lay, talk, and then take a romantic photo- it was just so lovely!






On our last day (Saturday), the sun finally came out!
We woke up early and went to a big French market about 40 minutes away. This market was held on the 29th of each month, and since we were flying home that evening, we were luckily able to go!

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ew.
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Don’t worry mom… I didn’t bring him home. But I wanted to

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I love loose leaf tea!

We came home and fixed a massive lunch feast! Then I ran back outside to enjoy a bit of sunbathing before flying back to England.

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Yes, BOTH of those bottom plates are mine. lol

It was finally time to head back to the airport. I was so thankful to have both my passport and visa in hand as I realized they would have not even let me board the plane without it! Both our flights were delayed, and we didn’t get home til nearly midnight (1 am France time, so we were super tired! Especially after such a long day at the market).

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Hello England

We were so excited to see this little fuzzy bear when we got home! He even left us a handwritten note to tell us about his amazing week with Josh!
(thanks Josh for writing that for him 😉 )

 

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He made sure to get all his toys out for us to see.. lol

A Fresh Start

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Being Camille

I’ve been an active blogger for over 10 years now, blogging about my journey in life- my thoughts, paintings, dreams, and adventures. All of these things being rooted around my belief in God; for his spirit is my source in all I do.

The past 10 years has brought me many places. Born in Charleston, South Carolina, I grew up extremely close to my family and friends there. But my God given heart for adventure has lead me on many travels, and I currently live in Manchester, England with the love of my life, my husband Shanen.

Because of these travels, I have formed deep relationships around the world- my deepest long distance relationships being my family and best friends. My heart misses them so, and as life leads me on across the sea from them, I have found myself extremely busy with my job as an artist and yoga teacher- as well as writing my first book. This has left me little time to blog.

I know my blog inspires many, as I am sent emails and messages on how much they bless the reader- and I am very passionate about blogging. But I realized as this season in my life is bringing many changes, it is time for a change in how and why I blog as well.

This blog has a very simple goal… to keep up with family and friends all over the world.

I realized the need for this when I was emailing my grandparents this past weekend, at the same time I was trying to find the space in my diary to fit in a Skype call with a friend from Germany. While there is nothing like quality one-on-one talks and emails, I really want to spend that precious time finding out how the person is doing and connecting with them personally, and not updating them the whole time on what is new in my life.

So this blog is to simply share my journey. I have many friends who keep up with me via Instagram- I love Instagram and it is by far the best way for me to keep up with what is going on in my friends lives and also for them to be able to see into mine. But I have many friends and (especially) family members who do not have or use Instagram as often as I do. Therefore, this blog of ‘being Camille’ has been born.

I still very much love emailing and connecting with ALL my friends; so please don’t think this blog is a substitute for that. I beg you, keep in touch! I miss every single friend and family member in ways I cannot describe.

This blog is very simply- a place to see and read (in photos and short stories) what is going on in my life, and what me and Shanen are doing in our little life in England.  It is not to replace other connections at all- but in fact, I am hoping it enhances the time I do get to connect everyone via phone, messages, comments, and Skype.

Much love from the land of England,
Sarah Camille x

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The sky from our kitchen window last night